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Dionysus is fed up. The kids these days listening to their mumble poets and warbling tragedians are just too much for him to bear. He wants to bring back the stars of his youth... but they're all dead. A little death never kept a good god down, though, and certainly not a heroic figure with bulging biceps and a penchant for bashing heads. So Dionysus, being at least one of those two things, hatches a plan so he can also pass himself off as the latter.
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